People Are Called Out In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

So I’ve been working at this company for about three years now. The pay is okay, but with inflation and everything getting more expensive, I’ve been casually browsing job listings.

Last month, I spotted this opening at a tech firm that seemed perfect–better benefits, shorter commute, and most importantly, about 20% more money.

Without thinking too much about it, I updated my resume and fired off an application. Honestly, I didn’t mention it to Irene (my wife of 5 years) because I was convinced nothing would come of it.

The company has a reputation for being super selective, and I figured my application would just vanish into the void.

Well, surprise! Yesterday I got an email asking to set up a video interview next Tuesday. I was genuinely shocked they even responded.

As soon as I read the email, I went straight to Irene and told her about it, feeling pretty excited.

Instead of being happy for me, she got really upset. “You applied for a whole new job and didn’t think to mention it to me?” she said.

I tried explaining that I didn’t think they’d ever call me back, but she wasn’t having it.

“This affects both of us, Anthony! What if the hours are different? What if you have to travel more?

What about our carpool routine?” She kept going on about how we’re supposed to be partners and make decisions together.

I pointed out that I wasn’t accepting anything yet–it’s just an interview to learn more.

If they made an offer, we’d definitely discuss it together before I decided anything. But she said I was being dismissive of her feelings and that I should have looped her in from the beginning.

The argument got more heated, with her calling me inconsiderate and saying I was being a jerk for not communicating properly.

I still don’t see how applying for a job–not even getting or accepting one–is such a big deal that required a family discussion first.

AITJ for not telling my wife about a job application I didn’t think would go anywhere?

Another User Comments: NTJ.

You were just testing the waters, not making a life-altering decision without her. It’s perfectly normal to apply for jobs without reporting every application to your spouse. You told her as soon as it became something real. Your wife is overreacting big time.

If anything, she should be supportive of you trying to improve your financial situation. Maybe there’s something else bothering her that’s making her react this way? Either way, you did nothing wrong by sending out an application without a committee meeting first.

Another User Comments: YTJ, but only slightly.

Marriage is a partnership, and career moves, even potential ones, affect both people. Your wife probably feels blindsided. Even though you didn’t think anything would come of it, it took you zero effort to say “Hey, I applied for this job that pays better, probably won’t hear back though.” That simple sentence would have avoided this whole argument.

It’s not about the application itself, it’s about keeping each other in the loop on things that might impact your shared life.

Another User Comments: NTJ. What’s next, do you need to inform her every time you send an email?

This is such a non-issue. It was just an application, not a job offer. Your wife is being controlling and unreasonable. You told her immediately when it actually mattered. I’d be concerned about why she’s making such a big deal about this.

Does she react this way to other things you do independently? Might be worth having a deeper conversation about expectations in your relationship.

Another User Comments: Everyone sucks here. Your wife is overreacting, but I understand her perspective. Major life changes should at least be mentioned between spouses.

That said, her reaction seems disproportionate to the situation. There might be underlying issues at play–maybe she’s worried about what changes a new job might bring, or perhaps she’s feeling excluded from important decisions.

You two need to sit down and have an honest conversation about communication expectations.

Another User Comments: NTJ. I’m shocked at your wife’s reaction. My husband and I apply to jobs all the time without telling each other because, like you said, most applications go nowhere.

We only discuss when there’s an actual interview or offer. Your wife seems to be catastrophizing a bit here. This is a potential positive change that could benefit your household financially! Instead of being excited for you, she’s making it about herself.

Stand your ground on this one, but maybe try to understand what’s really behind her reaction.

I never thought my senior year would end with a friendship on the rocks, but here we are. Amira and I have been roommates since sophomore year, but lately I can’t stand being around her for more than five minutes.

The problem?

She’s turned into a complete job-hunting machine. From the moment she wakes up, it’s all “Did you see this position?” and “How many applications did you submit this week?” She’s allegedly sent out over 300 applications in the last two months, which seems excessive even for today’s market.

Last week was the breaking point.

Our department hosted a networking dinner with alumni, and I invited Amira since she’s so focused on finding work. Big mistake. My mentor Eva was there–a senior marketing director I’ve known since freshman year.

Eva pulled me aside halfway through dessert looking super uncomfortable.

“Hey, your friend cornered me in the bathroom and practically begged for a job,” she whispered. “I explained three times we aren’t hiring, but she kept pushing.

Maybe don’t tell students we have openings?”

I was mortified. I never told Amira that Eva was hiring! When I confronted her later, she brushed it off saying, “You have to be aggressive in this economy.”

Yesterday at lunch, she started in again.

“So how’s your job hunt going? Have you applied to that tech startup yet?”

I finally snapped. “What are you talking about? I’m not looking for jobs right now. I’ve told you a dozen times I’m backpacking through Europe with Mackenzie after graduation.”

“But you need to start applying now if you want something when you get back,” she insisted.

“Look, I get you’re stressed, but I’m not.

And frankly, bombarding companies with hundreds of generic applications isn’t working for you either. Building relationships with alumni makes more sense than whatever spray-and-pray approach you’re using.”

Her face fell. “Wow. I can’t believe you’d kick me when I’m down like this.

I’m just trying to secure my future while you’re planning your vacation.”

“It’s not a vacation, it’s a gap year. And I’m not kicking you–I’m asking you to stop dumping all your job anxiety on me.

It’s exhausting.”

She hasn’t spoken to me in two days. Our other roommate Leah thinks I was too harsh, but I’m tired of every conversation turning into Amira’s personal career crisis.

Was I out of line?

Another User Comments: NTJ. Your friend is projecting her anxiety onto you and it’s unfair. I’ve been in Amira’s shoes before–desperate for a job after graduation and letting it consume my every waking thought.

But that doesn’t give her the right to hijack your plans or embarrass you professionally. The way she cornered your mentor was completely inappropriate and could have damaged YOUR relationship with Eva. Sometimes people need a reality check, and true friends should be able to give honest feedback without tiptoeing around issues.

Another User Comments: YTJ, but only slightly.

Senior year is STRESSFUL and job hunting is absolute torture right now. Companies want entry-level applicants with 3-5 years experience and the rejection gets demoralizing. Your friend is clearly spiraling, and while you don’t need to be her therapist, you could show more compassion.

Instead of criticizing her approach, maybe offer to help her network better or review her resume? Your gap year plans are valid, but recognize that’s a privilege not everyone can afford. A little kindness goes a long way when someone’s struggling.

Another User Comments: NTJ.

As someone who’s been on both sides of this, I think your response was totally fair. When I was job hunting, I became obsessed like Amira and probably annoyed everyone around me. But looking back, I wish someone had given me the reality check I needed.

The approach she’s taking–mass applying and desperately cornering people–isn’t just ineffective, it could actually harm her reputation. True friends tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

You weren’t cruel, just honest.

Another User Comments: Everyone sucks here. You could have addressed this WAY earlier before it reached boiling point. Setting boundaries isn’t mean, it’s necessary–but waiting until you’re already frustrated means you probably weren’t as tactful as you could have been.

Meanwhile, Amira needs to read the room and respect that not everyone is on the same path. Graduation affects people differently, and forcing her anxiety onto you isn’t fair. You both need to have a calm conversation about respecting each other’s choices.

Another User Comments: NTJ.

What Amira did at that networking dinner was completely unprofessional and could have reflected poorly on you too. I work in recruiting and can tell you her approach is actually counterproductive. Sending hundreds of generic applications yields worse results than targeted networking.

She’s not just stressing herself out; she’s potentially burning bridges before her career even starts. Your advice about building relationships was spot-on, even if she wasn’t ready to hear it. Sometimes friendship means being honest when someone’s self-sabotaging.

I’m trying really hard not to lose it completely right now. I’m 19, and my sister Mila (16) and I have always been super close despite being complete opposites.

I’m the quiet bookworm with pale skin who prefers staying in, while she’s the social butterfly with a perfect tan who’s always surrounded by friends.

Things between us started getting weird about three months ago.

Mila became incredibly moody and started snapping at everyone for the smallest things. My mom Scarlett has been trying to talk to her, but Mila just shuts down completely. I’ve been away at college but I call home almost every day to check in.

Here’s where everything blew up.

I’ve been dealing with this autoimmune condition that’s causing my hair to thin noticeably. Not falling out in clumps or anything, but definitely thinning enough that I’m super self-conscious about it. Yesterday, I was home for the weekend and had a complete breakdown about it with my mom.

I was sitting at the kitchen table, literally sobbing about how I’m only 19 and already losing my hair.

Mila walks in, sees me crying, and goes, ‘Don’t worry about it, Yasmin. I actually wish I had really thin hair.

My thick hair gets so annoying to manage.’

I just… froze. This wasn’t the first time she’s done this weird competitive thing. Whenever I mention being insecure about my super pale skin, she’s like, ‘I wish my skin was as pale as yours, like literally transparent, lol.’ Or if I complain about my body shape, she’ll say, ‘I wish I didn’t have curves like you.

I’d prefer a boxy body.’

Normally I let it slide because whatever, that’s just Mila being Mila. But this time, I was already emotional about my hair, and I just snapped.

‘Stop trying to fake insecurities just to one-up me!’ I shouted.

‘You only say this nonsense to make me feel worse about myself! You don’t actually wish you had thinning hair from a medical condition!’

She immediately started hyperventilating and claiming she was having a panic attack.

Mom told her to go to her room to calm down while she dealt with me. Before I left to drive back to my apartment, Mom pulled me aside and said, ‘You shouldn’t have raised your voice, but you had a point.’

I spent the entire two-hour drive back to my place replaying everything in my head.

Maybe I was too harsh? Mila seems to be going through something serious, and I should’ve been more mature about it. But at the same time, her comment about my hair keeps echoing in my mind every time I see more strands falling out in the shower.

I don’t know what to do now.

Should I apologize? Was I completely out of line?

Another User Comments: NTJ. Your sister’s comments weren’t helping, they were minimizing your very real medical condition. There’s a difference between saying “I understand what you’re going through” and “I wish I had your problem.” One shows empathy, the other dismisses the actual struggle.

That said, at 16 she might not have the emotional maturity to understand why her comments were hurtful. It sounds like she’s going through something too. Maybe when things cool down, you could have a conversation with her about how those specific types of comments make you feel?

Another User Comments: Gentle YTJ.

I get why you snapped, but your sister is only 16 and clearly struggling with something herself. Those “I wish I had your problem” comments are actually really common with teens who don’t know how to express empathy properly.

They think they’re helping by trying to reframe your problem as a positive. It’s misguided but not malicious. The shouting definitely escalated things. Maybe text her and suggest talking when you’re both calmer? This sounds like a communication issue more than anything.

Another User Comments: NTJ, but this isn’t just about one comment.

Your sister has been making these backhanded “compliments” repeatedly, and there’s clearly something deeper going on. Your mom needs to step up here instead of just sending your sister to her room. Has anyone considered getting her to talk to a therapist?

That dramatic reaction to being called out sounds like she might be dealing with some serious emotional issues that your family isn’t equipped to handle alone.

Another User Comments: ESH. Your sister was insensitive, but you could have addressed it without blowing up.

That said, I’m concerned about both of you. You’re dealing with a medical condition that’s affecting your self-image, and she’s showing signs of depression or anxiety. Neither of you are really the bad guys here – you’re both struggling and taking it out on each other.

Your mom recognizing you “had a point” but still criticizing your delivery isn’t helping either. Your whole family might benefit from better communication strategies.

Another User Comments: NTJ, and I actually think your sister needed that reality check.

Those “I wish I had your problem” comments are super toxic and invalidating. However, now that you’ve made your point, maybe reach out with a more measured approach. Something like: “I’m sorry I yelled, but when you say you wish you had my medical condition, it feels like you’re dismissing something that’s really painful for me.

I’d rather you just listen or offer support without comparing our situations.” Then see if she’ll open up about what’s really going on with her.

I’ve been off most social media for the last 3 years. Just didn’t need that extra stress in my life.

Recently, I made a new account to showcase my landscape photography hobby. No selfies, just mountains, sunsets, and cool architecture shots I’ve taken. I made it clear to everyone that I’m not into having my picture plastered around online.

Yesterday, my phone blew up with notifications.

Carter, a guy I know from my college days (not even a close friend), tagged me in some birthday celebration post. I scrolled through the carousel of images and nearly dropped my phone. There I was in the last slide – a horrible, blurry shot from two years ago at this dive bar downtown.

I had this enormous cocktail in front of me, my eyes were half-closed, and I looked absolutely terrible.

The worst part? His whole caption was about his “journey to sobriety” and how he’s “surrounded himself with positive influences.” Meanwhile, I’m featured looking like I just crawled out of a week-long bender.

The picture is from a really rough time in my life when I was struggling with anxiety and depression. I actually stopped going out entirely shortly after that photo was taken.

I’m really confused why he even included me.

There were like 15 slides of people in this post, most of whom are his actual close friends. We’ve barely spoken three times in the past year, and he has zero other photos of me. Part of me thinks he deliberately chose an unflattering image.

I want to ask him to remove it, but I don’t want to come across as dramatic.

This account was supposed to be just for my photography, and now people I don’t even know can find me. I purposely kept my social circle small on this platform, and now I feel exposed.

Should I just let it go since it’s his birthday post?

Or am I justified in asking him to take down a photo he never got permission to share?

Another User Comments: Definitely NTJ. Your image is yours, and nobody has the right to post unflattering pictures of you without permission, especially when you’re clearly trying to maintain privacy online.

The fact that it shows you in a compromising position with a drink while he’s humble-bragging about sobriety makes it even worse. It feels passive-aggressive. Don’t worry about “ruining” his birthday post – he should have thought about that before including you without asking.

Just message him privately and calmly explain your boundaries.

Another User Comments: I think you should just let it go. Social media is public, and once you create an account, you’re opening yourself up to being tagged. It’s one old photo from years ago – is it really worth creating drama over?

People probably barely noticed you in the carousel anyway. If you make a big deal, you’ll look oversensitive, and it might draw MORE attention to the photo. Just untag yourself and move on. Sometimes we look bad in photos – that’s life.

Another User Comments: YTJ if you demand he take down the entire post.

However, you’re completely in the right to ask him to remove just that one slide with you in it. Instagram lets users edit posts to remove individual slides. Approach it tactfully – tell him you appreciate being included in his celebration, but you’re keeping a low profile online these days and would prefer that particular image be removed.

Most reasonable people would understand completely.

Another User Comments: This seems suspicious to me. Why would someone you’re not close with randomly include an unflattering photo of you from years ago in a sobriety post? It feels like he’s using you as the “before” example to his “after” sobriety story, which is super inappropriate.

I wouldn’t just ask him to remove it – I’d want to know his reasoning for including it in the first place. You have every right to control how you’re portrayed online.

Another User Comments: Everyone’s missing the bigger issue here – you abandoned social media for your mental health, then cautiously returned with strict boundaries, which this person completely disregarded.

That’s not just annoying, it’s potentially harmful to your wellbeing. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about why you want a photo removed. It’s YOUR image. A simple “Hey, would you mind removing that photo of me?

I’m trying to keep my online presence minimal” is completely reasonable. Your comfort matters more than his birthday post.

I’ve got this friend Julian who’s going through hell at school right now. Some of his classmates have been making these nasty jokes that are really getting to him.

Julian keeps telling me he has no idea why they’re targeting him and swears he’s been nothing but nice to everyone.

Here’s the thing though – I’m not sure he’s being completely honest with me.

I talked to Stephen, another friend who’s in the same class, and he said Julian made it pretty obvious from day one that he couldn’t stand certain people there. This actually lines up with stuff Julian told me earlier – that he “hated them from the start” but claimed he “hid it well.” Based on what Stephen said, I don’t think Julian hid his feelings as well as he thinks.

After a particularly rough day of being picked on, Julian’s been sitting around plotting revenge.

I told him he was being ridiculous because escalating will only make everything worse. Someone could get suspended or seriously hurt. The main instigator is this girl Lila, and Julian flat-out refuses to talk to her about why she’s acting this way.

And honestly, Lila isn’t making any effort to communicate with Julian either.

That’s where I thought I could help. Since both of them are refusing to talk to each other, I figured as someone neutral who doesn’t even go to their school, I could maybe talk to Lila first, understand her side, and try to mediate the situation.

When I suggested this to Julian, he completely flipped out. He said if I talked to Lila behind his back, it would “break his trust” and make him “even more paranoid.”

Julian claims he doesn’t want my help because he doesn’t want to “seem weak.” He says he’ll figure it out himself and that it’ll all be over when he graduates – but they’re in some program where they stay with the same group of people for FOUR YEARS.

I’m worried about what that kind of ongoing harassment will do to his mental health, even after high school ends.

I really want to help him stop hurting, and I also want to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid that he’ll regret.

But I don’t want to betray his trust either. Is trying to fix this behind his back the wrong move?

Another User Comments: I think your heart’s in the right place, but you have to respect Julian’s boundaries.

If he specifically asked you not to talk to Lila, and you do it anyway, that IS a betrayal of trust, no matter your intentions. Sometimes we have to let our friends make their own mistakes. Maybe suggest he talk to a school counselor instead?

They’re trained for these situations and might be able to mediate better than you could anyway.

Another User Comments: NTJ for wanting to help, but you would be if you went behind his back. The real problem here is that Julian isn’t being honest with himself or you.

He clearly did something to trigger this situation, even if it was just having a bad attitude. High schoolers pick up on that stuff instantly. Maybe instead of trying to fix the situation directly, help Julian understand how his behavior might be contributing to the problem.

The solution needs to start with him.

Another User Comments: This is tough. I’d say you’d be TJ if you talked to Lila after Julian specifically asked you not to. That said, your friend is being stubborn and making things worse for himself.

Four years is a long time to be miserable. Maybe instead of going directly to Lila, you could talk to a teacher or counselor about the situation? They could intervene without Julian knowing you were involved, and they have authority to actually do something about the bullying.

Another User Comments: High school drama is always complicated.

Julian probably isn’t telling you the whole story, but that doesn’t mean he deserves to be bullied. That said, going behind his back is a quick way to lose a friend. Maybe challenge him on his revenge ideas instead?

Like, “What exactly do you think will happen if you do that?” Make him think through the consequences. Sometimes people just need to vent and aren’t actually going to do anything drastic.

Another User Comments: I was in a similar situation once.

My advice? Don’t meddle directly, but do keep an eye on things. If Julian starts talking about specific plans to hurt someone or himself, that’s when you need to involve adults immediately regardless of his trust issues.

Otherwise, just be there for him. Sometimes having one solid friend who listens makes all the difference when you’re being bullied. The school situation will eventually resolve, but your friendship might not if you break his trust.

I’ve been engaged to Nathan for about two years now, and he’s usually pretty good at planning stuff.

Last month, we went to this car stunt show that was passing through town. I mentioned it would be cool to check out, and we had a blast! The monster trucks were awesome, the crowd was hyped, and I genuinely had a great time.

So my birthday rolled around last weekend, and Nathan had been acting all secretive for weeks.

On the morning of my birthday, he gave me this envelope with a card inside. I opened it expecting maybe restaurant reservations or something, but instead found two tickets to another monster truck rally in my hometown, about an hour away.

He was beaming with pride and started explaining how he’d planned dinner before the show and had more surprises waiting at home.

The thing is, I wasn’t really in the mood for another monster truck show.

The first one was fun, but I didn’t think it meant I wanted to make it a regular thing. What I had actually been hinting at for weeks was visiting the new ocean exhibit at the aquarium that just opened.

I’d literally left the brochure on our coffee table and sent him links to it.

When I suggested we do the aquarium instead, Nathan got really upset. He kept saying how he’d spent good money on these tickets and had everything planned out.

We ended up having a pretty tense conversation where he made me feel like I was being ungrateful.

I tried explaining that while I appreciated the effort, it was still my birthday, and I should get to choose what I wanted to do.

Eventually he gave in, sold the tickets (apparently at a loss), and took me to the aquarium. But he was clearly annoyed the whole time, making little comments about the “expensive tickets” and how he “went to all this trouble.”

I feel like he planned my birthday based on what he thought I’d like rather than what I actually wanted, and then made me feel bad when I expressed my preference.

But maybe I should have just gone along with his plans since he put in the effort? AITJ for rejecting his surprise and insisting on doing what I wanted for my own birthday?

Another User Comments: I think you’re NTJ here.

It’s YOUR birthday, and while it’s sweet he tried to plan something, the whole point of a birthday celebration is to make the birthday person happy. The fact that he was passive-aggressive at the aquarium is pretty immature.

He should have paid attention to your hints about the aquarium! That said, maybe in the future be more direct about what you want instead of leaving brochures around – some people (especially men, sorry guys) don’t pick up on subtle hints very well.

Another User Comments: Going against the grain here, but YTJ.

Your fiancé put thought and effort into surprising you with something he believed you’d enjoy based on your previous enthusiasm. Yeah, it wasn’t perfect, but rejecting someone’s heartfelt gift/surprise feels pretty harsh.

He had already spent money and planned everything out. Sometimes relationships require compromise, and this seemed like a good opportunity to appreciate his effort even if it wasn’t exactly what you wanted.

Another User Comments: Everyone sucks here.

You for not appreciating that he tried (even if he missed the mark), and him for sulking afterward. Communication seems to be the real issue. He shouldn’t assume one fun experience means you want to repeat it, and you shouldn’t expect him to read your mind from brochures and links without explicitly saying “This is what I want for my birthday.” You both need to work on expressing yourselves better instead of getting upset when expectations don’t align.

Another User Comments: NTJ.

Presents and surprises should be about the recipient, not the giver. Nathan made your birthday about his feelings and his efforts rather than your enjoyment. The fact that he was making comments all day about the tickets shows he was more concerned with being acknowledged for his planning than with your happiness.

A loving partner would have been disappointed but quickly moved on to make sure your special day was still special.

Another User Comments: Soft YTJ. I understand wanting to do what you prefer on your birthday, but there’s something to be said for appreciating thoughtful gestures.

He remembered something you enjoyed and tried to recreate that experience. Maybe you could have compromised – gone to his planned event and then done the aquarium the next day? Relationships involve give and take, and sometimes that means doing something that makes your partner happy because they put effort into planning it, even if it wasn’t your first choice.

I’m seriously questioning my friendship with my roommate Amira right now. We’ve been basically joined at the hip since we moved into our suite with four other girls.

The six of us have been super tight – until this whole mess happened.

A couple weeks ago, we met this guy Omar at a campus event. He seemed nice enough, and Amira was totally into him. They exchanged numbers and started texting right away.

Everything seemed fine until Victoria pulled me aside with some disturbing news.

She showed me a screenshot that Ruby had found – Omar had taken a photo of Ruby without her permission and sent it to his friend with some really gross comments about her appearance.

I was disgusted. Victoria and I immediately told Amira about it, expecting her to drop this creep instantly.

Amira acted shocked when we told her. She said all the right things – that it was terrible, disrespectful, and she’d be careful.

But guess what? The very next night, I caught her sneaking out to meet him! When I texted her saying “I can’t believe you care so little about Ruby,” she came back furious.

“It’s none of your business who I hang out with,” she snapped at me.

“I’m being cautious. I’m leaving it up to Ruby to decide if I can talk to him.”

That’s complete nonsense! If someone treated my friend that way, I wouldn’t go anywhere near them.

Period. I told Amira I couldn’t trust someone with such questionable judgment, and that her actions showed a serious lack of loyalty.

Ruby eventually confronted Amira too, saying she felt uncomfortable knowing Amira was hanging out with someone who had violated her privacy and respect.

She explained how seeing Omar around campus was already making her anxious.

Amira finally blocked him after all this pressure, but I still can’t shake this feeling of disappointment. I’ve been keeping my distance from her, and she keeps asking why I’m being “dramatic.” But honestly, how can I respect someone who would choose a random guy over a friend’s dignity and comfort?

Maybe I’m overreacting, but I feel like this revealed something about Amira’s character that I can’t unsee.

Our friendship has definitely changed, and I’m not sure if it can go back to how it was before.

Another User Comments: I’ve been in Ruby’s position before and it’s absolutely crushing when friends prioritize some random guy over your feelings.

NTJ at all – you stood up for someone who was hurt and showed what real friendship looks like. Amira should’ve immediately cut contact with Omar the moment she found out what he did. Her “leaving it up to Ruby” excuse is just a way to absolve herself of responsibility while still getting to hang out with a guy she’s attracted to.

Pretty selfish if you ask me.

Another User Comments: You’re definitely NTJ. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Amira showed that she values male attention over female friendship and loyalty. The fact that she needed to be pressured to block him instead of doing it immediately says everything.

I wouldn’t trust her either – not just because of this situation, but because it reveals how she might handle future conflicts where she has to choose between what she wants and what’s right.

Another User Comments: Unpopular opinion but YTJ slightly.

People are complex and Amira might have genuinely been conflicted. Maybe she liked Omar and wanted to believe he could be better or that it was a one-time mistake. Cutting her off completely seems harsh especially after she eventually did the right thing by blocking him.

Friends sometimes make mistakes or have different approaches to conflict. Maybe a conversation about loyalty and values would be more productive than ending the friendship.

Another User Comments: Everyone seems to be ignoring that the real villain here is Omar!

He’s the one who took the photo and made disgusting comments. While I think Amira definitely handled this poorly, at least she eventually blocked him. NTJ for standing up for Ruby, but maybe give Amira a chance to redeem herself if she genuinely understands what she did wrong.

Some people take longer to process these situations, especially when romantic feelings are involved.

Another User Comments: NTJ but this is a tough situation all around. College friendships can be intense and complicated. What Amira did was wrong, but I wonder if there’s more to her reasoning?

Has she had trouble with relationships before and was afraid of being alone? Not an excuse, just context. Either way, your instinct to protect Ruby was spot-on. Just make sure you’re cutting Amira off because of her actions, not just to make a point.

True friendship sometimes means holding people accountable AND giving them a chance to grow.

So I’ve been struggling lately with being a single mom to my 8-month-old daughter Emma. She’s adorable but these teething phases are absolutely brutal.

Last weekend, my friend Quinn was supposed to come over for dinner and I was genuinely excited to have adult conversation for once.

I spent all morning cleaning my apartment, which if you’re a parent you know is like trying to sweep in a tornado.

I had plans to make my famous lasagna (Quinn always raves about it), but Emma started screaming around noon and just wouldn’t stop. Nothing worked – not the teething gel, not the frozen toys, not even the medicine the pediatrician recommended.

She was just inconsolable.

By the time Quinn arrived at 6, I looked like I’d been through war. Hair a mess, spit-up on my shirt, and definitely no lasagna in the oven. I apologized immediately and suggested we order takeout.

Quinn said it was totally fine and seemed to understand. We ended up ordering pizza and had a decent evening despite Emma’s fussiness.

I thought everything was cool until two days later when Quinn texted saying she was “a bit disappointed” about the visit.

I apologized again and explained how bad the teething situation had been, but she’s made several passive-aggressive comments since then about how she was “really looking forward to a home-cooked meal” and how “it would have been nice to know beforehand” that I wasn’t cooking.

I’m honestly feeling pretty hurt.

I’ve already apologized multiple times, and I don’t know what else she wants from me. I’m doing my best here as a single parent, and sometimes things just don’t go as planned.

Should I offer to cook for her another time? Or am I overreacting to her comments?

Another User Comments: Quinn sounds like she’s never been around babies before. As someone who has three kids, I can tell you that any friend who expects a perfect dinner party from a single mom with a teething baby is living in a fantasy world.

You did nothing wrong. Your baby comes first, and a true friend would understand that without making passive-aggressive comments. Maybe invite her over when the baby is feeling better and cook that meal, but don’t feel bad about what happened.

Parenting is unpredictable and friends need to be flexible.

Another User Comments: I think there’s a miscommunication here. Quinn might have been looking forward to the meal and was just expressing disappointment, not necessarily blaming you. Sometimes friends don’t fully understand what parenting involves, especially the unpredictability.

Next time, maybe give her a heads-up earlier in the day if things aren’t going as planned. That said, her continued comments are unnecessary. A good friend should let it go after you’ve explained and apologized.

NTJ, but maybe have a heart-to-heart with her about expectations.

Another User Comments: As someone without kids, I can kind of see both sides. Quinn probably doesn’t understand how all-consuming a teething baby can be, but at the same time, it sounds like she was really looking forward to your cooking.

Could you maybe schedule a do-over dinner when Emma is feeling better? That might smooth things over. But honestly, her making multiple comments after you’ve already apologized is pretty petty. Real friends should cut each other some slack, especially when babies are involved!

Another User Comments: Seriously?

Quinn needs to grow up. You’re raising a human being by yourself and she’s complaining about not getting a home-cooked meal? That’s some serious nonsense. I’d be reconsidering this friendship if I were you.

A good friend would have offered to help cook or brought something over when they saw you struggling. Her disappointment is valid for like five minutes, but continuing to bring it up is just selfish. Absolutely NTJ.

Another User Comments: I wonder if there’s something else bothering Quinn that she’s not expressing directly.

Sometimes people fixate on small issues when there’s a bigger problem they’re avoiding. Maybe she felt neglected during the visit because your attention was divided? Not saying her reaction is justified, but it might be worth asking if everything is okay between you two.

That said, you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about – parenting comes with unexpected challenges, and good friends roll with those punches.

I’ve been living with Kiara for almost three months now. She’s an international student from Spain, and we share this tiny dorm room that barely fits our two beds and desks.

When we first met, I told her my Spanish wasn’t great, hoping she might take the lead in conversation, but we’ve basically been living like ghosts passing through each other’s lives.

Here’s the thing – I’m a night owl with a packed schedule.

I work part-time at the campus coffee shop, take 18 credit hours, and run the film club. Most nights, I don’t get back to our room until after midnight, sometimes later. My routine always includes washing my hair, and I absolutely cannot sleep with wet hair (migraines, plus I wake up looking like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket).

So yes, I use my hair dryer at ungodly hours – usually around 2:30 AM.

I’ve tried to be somewhat considerate by using it on the lowest setting and pointing it away from her bed, but it’s still a hair dryer in a room the size of a shoebox.

I’ve noticed Kiara stirring when I turn it on.

Sometimes she pulls her pillow over her head or turns toward the wall. But she’s never actually said anything about it bothering her. Not a single word. We barely speak ten sentences to each other per week.

This morning though, I found a note on my desk: “Could you please dry your hair before midnight?

It wakes me up every night.” Her first real communication with me in three months.

The thing is, I literally can’t. My schedule is packed solid, and the only time I can shower is when I get back.

The common bathroom doesn’t have outlets, so I can’t dry my hair there. I’m not trying to be inconsiderate, but I feel like this is just how roommate life works sometimes. We all make sacrifices.

I left her a note explaining my schedule, but now I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable.

AITJ for using my hair dryer in the middle of the night when my roommate is sleeping?

Another User Comments: NTJ but maybe try finding a compromise? Could you wrap your hair in a microfiber towel for 20 minutes before bed to cut down drying time?

Or maybe invest in one of those silencing attachments for hair dryers? Living with roommates is all about finding middle ground. You both deserve consideration – you need to dry your hair, and she needs uninterrupted sleep. Talk to her directly instead of notes.

Sometimes international students feel nervous about confrontation in a foreign language, so maybe she’s been suffering in silence for months.

Another User Comments: YTJ sorry but using a loud appliance at 3 AM regularly is inconsiderate. Your packed schedule isn’t her problem.

Sleep deprivation is serious and affects health, academic performance, everything. You knew what your schedule was like when you moved in – you should have found a single room or a roommate with similar hours. Try a shower cap on days you don’t need to wash your hair, or get up 20 minutes earlier to air dry before class.

Bottom line: you’re disrupting someone’s sleep every single night.

Another User Comments: NTJ because dorm life is just like this! Everyone’s got weird schedules and annoying habits. My freshman roommate used to eat tuna sandwiches at 7 AM and the smell would wake me up.

Did I like it? No. Did I survive? Yes. That said, maybe look into a quieter hair dryer or one of those hooded ones that contain some noise. You’re both paying for the space, so you both need to adapt a little.

Kiara needs earplugs and you need to minimize the disruption when possible.

Another User Comments: Gentle YTJ. I get having a packed schedule, but disrupting someone’s sleep at 3 AM regularly isn’t cool. Maybe try washing your hair earlier in the day when you have breaks between classes?

Or look into those silk pillowcases that are supposed to be better for sleeping with damp hair? The common bathroom might not have outlets, but what about other spaces on campus? Libraries, student lounges? There has to be somewhere you could dry your hair that isn’t your shared sleeping space in the middle of the night.

Another User Comments: NTJ but this is such a typical freshman dorm problem!

You two need to actually talk face-to-face. Maybe sit down with her and ask what would help – would she prefer you use it in the hallway? Would earplugs or a white noise machine help her sleep through it? Communication is key here.

And for what it’s worth, I lived with someone who vacuumed at midnight, so a hair dryer seems pretty tame in comparison. Dorm life is chaos. You’re both just trying to make it work with your different schedules and needs.

I’ve been dating Felix for just over three months, and honestly, things were going great until last week. He moved here from overseas a few years back on a student visa, which means he’s stuck paying crazy high tuition fees without any family support.

I’ve always respected his hustle – working part-time jobs while studying full-time isn’t easy.

I work my butt off too. Between my job and classes, I barely have time to breathe, but I’ve managed to save about $55k.

Felix knows about my savings because I mentioned it when we were talking about financial goals early on. I don’t have many expenses right now since I’m living with roommates – just groceries, gas, and my phone.

So last Tuesday, Felix comes over looking stressed.

We’re having coffee when he starts talking about his money problems. His tuition is due soon, and he’s short on cash. Then he just flat-out asks if I can loan him $5000. I nearly choked on my coffee.

I explained that I’m really protective of my savings.

Not just for me – my dad had a serious heart attack last year and will be retiring soon. I need that safety net in case he needs financial help. Plus, three months isn’t that long to be dating someone, right?

That’s when Felix got upset.

“But you’re planning to spend $10k on that cosmetic procedure next year,” he said. I was shocked. Yes, I’ve been saving for a procedure that would help my confidence, but that’s my decision about my body and my money.

Felix called me selfish for “prioritizing vanity” over helping him.

I couldn’t believe it. I told him there’s a difference between spending my own savings on myself versus lending a large sum to someone I’ve only been dating for a few months.

We haven’t talked much since then.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too cautious or if this is a red flag. My friends are divided – some think I should help him out, others say he’s showing his true colors early.

Am I being too protective of my money?

Or is Felix crossing a boundary by expecting financial support this early and criticizing my spending choices?

Another User Comments: NTJ. Three months is way too early to be lending that kind of money. The fact that he got mad and tried to make you feel guilty about your planned procedure is manipulative.

You worked hard for your savings and have legitimate reasons for keeping that safety net. Financial boundaries are important in any relationship, especially new ones. Trust your gut on this one.

Another User Comments: Slight YTJ. I understand protecting your savings, but relationships sometimes require sacrifice.

If you truly see a future with him, helping during a tough time builds trust. His education is important, and international student fees are ridiculous. However, his reaction about your procedure was definitely out of line. Maybe consider a smaller loan with a written agreement instead of refusing outright?

Another User Comments: NTJ!

This is a huge red flag waving in your face. Three months in and he’s asking for $5000? And then getting mad when you say no? That’s not normal relationship progression. The fact that he’s trying to guilt you about your future plans for your own body is extra concerning.

Run, don’t walk away from this relationship. He’s showing you who he is – believe him.

Another User Comments: NTJ. It’s your money that you worked hard for. However, I wonder if there might be a cultural component here?

In some cultures, it’s common for partners to help each other financially without the formal boundaries we tend to have. Maybe have a conversation about expectations and values around money. Either way, him getting angry and criticizing your personal choices isn’t okay.

Another User Comments: ESH.

You’re right to protect your boundaries, but the way you presented this makes it sound like you completely shut him down without exploring options. He’s wrong for the guilt trip and getting angry, but three months isn’t nothing either.

Maybe there’s a compromise – like helping him find resources for international students or a payment plan for his tuition? Financial compatibility is important in relationships.

I got Shadow three years ago from a rescue shelter where I volunteer on weekends. She’s a black cat with only three legs and no eyes due to some horrible abuse she suffered before being rescued.

The shelter was going to put her down because no one wanted to adopt a ‘damaged’ black cat. I couldn’t let that happen.

Shadow’s incredibly sweet and has learned to navigate my apartment perfectly.

She’s wary around most men but loves women and kids. She follows the sound of your voice and purrs like a motor when you pet her.

My sister Daniela and her husband Alejandro moved to my city last month.

Yesterday, they needed someone to watch their twin daughters while they went to some fancy dinner with Alejandro’s coworkers. I immediately offered my place since I love spending time with my nieces Maya and Alice.

When the girls arrived, they were initially startled by Shadow.

“Uncle Logan, why doesn’t your cat have eyes?” Maya asked. I explained Shadow’s story in kid-friendly terms, and before long, both girls were totally in love with her. Shadow was in heaven getting all that attention, following the girls around the apartment and cuddling up whenever they sat down.

We had a great evening playing board games and watching a movie.

Around 10 PM, the doorbell rang, and Shadow did her usual thing where she runs to greet visitors. I opened the door, and Daniela literally screamed when Shadow approached her. The poor cat bolted under my couch, terrified.

“What is THAT?” Daniela shrieked.

“You let that… that THING around my children?”

The girls tried to explain how sweet Shadow was, but Daniela wouldn’t hear it. She hurried them out the door, muttering something about the cat being “unnatural” and “disturbing.”

This morning, Alejandro called.

“Look, Logan, Daniela is really upset. She thinks your cat is creepy and inappropriate to have around kids. If you want to see the girls again, you need to find a new home for it.”

I was speechless.

Shadow is family to me. I told him there was absolutely no way I was getting rid of my cat just because Daniela couldn’t handle her appearance. He hung up on me, and now my sister is telling everyone I’m choosing a “demonic” cat over my own family.

Am I seriously the jerk here?

Another User Comments: NTJ.

Your sister and brother-in-law are being completely unreasonable. Shadow sounds like an amazing cat who has already been through enough trauma. The fact that your nieces connected with her shows that there’s nothing “creepy” about her – this is purely about your sister’s superficial reaction.

Animals with disabilities deserve love too, and you’re providing that. Stand your ground and don’t let your family emotionally blackmail you into abandoning an animal who depends on you.

Another User Comments: NTJ but maybe try to be more understanding of your sister’s reaction.

Some people have genuine phobias or discomfort around animals that look different. Maybe she was just shocked. Could you suggest meeting Shadow in a more controlled way? Perhaps bring Shadow to a neutral location in a carrier first, then let Daniela approach on her terms?

Ultimatums rarely solve family disputes, but compromise might. Your cat deserves to stay with you, but your relationship with your sister is worth trying to salvage too.

Another User Comments: Absolutely NTJ. Your sister is teaching her daughters a terrible lesson about judging based on appearances.

Those girls were fine with Shadow until their mother modeled fear and disgust. As someone who works with special needs animals, thank you for giving Shadow a loving home. Your sister needs to grow up and realize not everything in life looks “perfect.” Her reaction was childish and harmful.

Don’t give in to this ridiculous demand.

Another User Comments: YTJ, but hear me out. You should have warned your sister about Shadow’s appearance before she arrived. Some people are genuinely frightened by unexpected things, and springing a special needs cat on someone without preparation isn’t fair.

That said, their demand that you get rid of your pet is completely out of line. Maybe send them some photos of Shadow being adorable with the girls to help normalize her appearance for your sister?

Another User Comments: ESH.

Your sister overreacted tremendously, but you probably should have given her a heads-up about Shadow. The real losers here are your nieces who clearly loved the cat and are now caught in the middle of adult nonsense. Can you suggest having your nieces visit in a neutral location while you and your sister work this out?

Don’t get rid of Shadow, but maybe acknowledge that your sister’s fear, while irrational, is real to her.

So my sister Eliza has been completely off the grid for almost two years now. Like, totally vanished. She left her daughter Sophia with our parents and signed over legal custody before disappearing.

I wasn’t super close with Eliza – she always had a wild streak, but I never expected her to just abandon her kid like that.

Yesterday, my parents asked me to come over for dinner. I should’ve known something was up because Mom made my favorite lasagna.

After dinner, they dropped the bomb: they want me to take Sophia. My dad started explaining how at 72 and 68, they’re struggling to keep up with a 6-year-old. Mom jumped in saying I have the perfect setup with my house and how Sophia could share a room with my daughter Mackenzie.

I was completely blindsided.

I love my niece, but I have two kids already – Mackenzie (8) and Raymond (10). My husband Benjamin and I decided years ago that two was our limit. We both work full-time, and our life is finally getting easier as the kids get more independent.

I tried to be gentle but firm. “I’m really sorry you’re struggling, but taking in Sophia isn’t something I can do. We have our hands full with our two.”

Mom immediately got teary-eyed. “So you’d rather your niece end up in foster care? You have that big house with the spare bedroom!”

I explained that the spare room is my home office where I work remotely three days a week, and the fourth bedroom is Benjamin’s music studio. Even if we had the space, adding another child would completely change our family dynamic.

I suggested we hire a private investigator to find Eliza, or perhaps look into other family members who might be better positioned to help. Dad seemed receptive, but Mom was just getting angrier.

As I was leaving, Mom followed me to the car. “How will you live with yourself if Sophia ends up in the system? Don’t you care about family?”

I just said, “Of course I care. But I know my limits, and I can’t be the parent Sophia needs. I’ll help in other ways – financially, with babysitting occasionally, whatever you need – but I can’t be her guardian.”

She called me a heartless, selfish person and stormed back inside. Dad texted me later apologizing for Mom’s reaction, but I can tell he’s disappointed too. ... Click here to continue reading